To gain confidence is to gain a skill. Since nobody is born confident, this is something that you get to learn. I can remember being so incredibly shy in grade school, I wouldn’t talk to more than two people and didn’t have one ounce of confidence in me. I was afraid to speak and was terrified to ask questions. In high school, I decided I was not enjoying life and decided to make some changes. I changed my mindset and started showing the world more of who I am. Am I a confident person today? Absolutely not, but I am working on growing that skill set and I can say that these practices work if you put work into them.
Everyone has their own reasons for lacking confidence in themselves. Typically, this stems from outside factors such as an unhappy childhood, being bullied in school, or a traumatic event. I fortunately did not have a traumatic childhood, I just was terrified of the sound of my own voice in the middle of a room with all eyes on me. I got the shrinking feeling and everything would get really hot. I’m still super nervous if I have to be the center of attention but I have come a long way and I can promise, you can too.
Confidence comes from a combination of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and experience. It is built on a foundation of recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, accepting yourself as you are, and trusting in your ability to handle life’s challenges. The amount of confidence you have will influence your interactions with others and can determine successes at every milestone in your life. If you know you want something, you have to work for it, whatever it is.
Embrace a Growth Mindset
I read a couple articles regarding a growth mindset. Psychologist Carol Dweck, has made popular the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. She does this by really trying to understand why some people can succeed and others don’t and how simple words from others can impact those successes or lack of. This mindset showcases a love of learning, and a willingness to embrace challenges. When you adopt a growth mindset, you begin to see setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than as failures. This perspective helps build confidence because it focuses on the process of improvement rather than the end result.
Practice Positive self-talk
Talk to yourself in a positive way. If you think something long enough, you start to believe it. Look at what it can do to you when you’re stuck in your head thinking negative thoughts. Turn that around and focus on some positive. Your brain will believe your thoughts good or bad so instead of beating yourself down, build yourself up! Tell yourself that you’re confident and you will become a confident person.
The way you talk to yourself really does have a huge impact on your confidence. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never be good at this,” reframe it as, “I got this! I just need to work hard and practice.” Over time, these positive affirmations can shift your mindset and improve your confidence.
Physical Appearance and Body Language
If you’re constantly critiquing how you look and feel around others, you’re not living your best life. You’re spending all of your energy worrying about what others will think about you. You’re way harder on yourself than anyone else will be. Have you ever heard that you are your own worst enemy? Yah, that’s no kidding.
I hate to say it but your physical appearance and body language can also influence your confidence levels.That means to dress appropriately but dress it up. Wear something that makes you feel good and don’t be afraid to test the limits. Don’t think for one second “What will someone think of this” Put you first. Stand tall, make eye contact and smile.
Face Your Fears and Take Risks
Confidence grows when you step out of your comfort zone and face your fears. This definitely doesn’t mean taking reckless risks, but rather challenging yourself to try new things and take on new responsibilities. Each time you successfully complete a new experience, your confidence in your ability to handle the unknown increases. Start small, with manageable risks, and gradually take on larger challenges as your confidence grows.
Reflect of Past Successes
Reflecting on your past successes can be a massive confidence booster. You gain confidence by recalling times when you were at your very best. Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. When you’re feeling unsure or doubting yourself, reviewing your past successes can provide a much-needed confidence boost. Remember that overpowering end feeling of when you accomplished something especially after you’ve put yourself in an uncomfortable setting. Eventually some of the things that used to scare you don’t seem so scary anymore.
Prepare for Future Successes
Prepare yourself for upcoming situations. If you don’t practice, research or rehearse, you won’t have the knowledge to deliver your material and that can lead to anxiety and a drain in your confidence. As weird and awkward as it is, practice in front of a mirror. You are, after all, your own worst critic. Get out of the mindset of “what could go wrong?” and focus on “What can go right” Overthinking can be dangerous so live life in the present and don’t worry about future issues.
When you feel skilled and knowledgeable in a particular area, your confidence naturally increases. Invest time in developing your skills and expanding your knowledge. As you become more competent, you’ll feel more confident in your abilities and more prepared to face challenges.
Surround Yourself With Positivity
The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your confidence. Look for a friend group filled with supportive, positive individuals who encourage you and believe in your potential. Avoid those who are overly critical or negative, as their attitudes can weaken your confidence. Building strong, supportive relationships can provide you with encouragement, constructive feedback, and a sense of belonging.
Nobody is good at everything. Know your weaknesses but focus on your strengths. You are good at something. This is a great place to bring your positive friend crowd into play. Ask them what they feel your strengths are and grow from those. They see a side of you that you don’t always notice. As you begin to build on your strengths, you will start realizing more and more things that you’re fantastic at.
Always treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and encounters setbacks. These experiences do not define your worth or capabilities. By being gentle with yourself during difficult times, you can maintain a positive self-image and keep your confidence.
A good experiment would be to watch someone who you see as confident and follow their lead. This could be a coworker, friend or even someone on TV. See how they carry themselves, and how they interact with others. Adopt some of their ways and see how it makes you feel.
Remember that confidence is not about never experiencing doubt or fear, but about trusting in your ability to overcome challenges and achieve your goals. It just takes a change in your mindset. You are in full control of how you feel and react.