If you’ve recently found yourself sitting at the singles table, don’t feel bad. There are a lot of us out there.
I feel being single shouldn’t be such a taboo. People are almost conditioned to believe that being in a relationship is the only way to be. Society often glorifies romantic partnerships so I get it, it’s hard to break free from that mindset.
I admit, sometimes it hits pretty hard when you’re out with a group of people and you’re the only single person. Everyone else has someone to lean on and go home to each night, share their day with. There are some major perks to being single though. Being single can be a fulfilling and enjoyable chapter of your life. You don’t have to be alone and you don’t have to be lonely. Just because you’re not in a relationship doesn’t make you empty.
When my marriage ended, I was under the impression that I needed to get right back on the market because it wasn’t ok to be single. What would people think of me? I saw images of old maid playing cards with my face in the middle. It took me a while to grasp that I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I needed to get to know myself before I could expect anyone else to get to know me.
Regardless of what you think, people don’t think less of you for being single. You do not need another person to make you whole. You are enough just as you are. Don’t put your life on hold while you’re looking for someone to complete you. Seriously, there are enough people in this world that if you don’t want to stay single, you will find someone who also doesn’t want to be single and who will appreciate you for all you are.
Discover Yourself
Use this time to focus on you. Let go of the past and live free in the present. Heal from past heartache. Get to know this version of you and embrace this chapter of your life. Use this time to get to know yourself better. Explore your interests, passions, and hobbies. Use this time to really get to know yourself.
I know personally, I would constantly get lost in my own thoughts and it was depressing. I couldn’t get out of the mindset that I needed a partner in life and that I had failed in life. This was difficult to overcome but looking back now, I am so glad I took time away for self reflection. If you can’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to?
Be Open to New Possibilities
You don’t have anyone to answer to. I make the plans I want to make and don’t do things I wouldn’t do if it weren’t for a significant other. Make the best of this. Write some things down that you’ve always wanted to do but have never done. So many options. Get your hair cut, buy yourself a new wardrobe, paint the walls whatever color you want, plant a garden, get a puppy, go skydiving. Absolutely limitless. Of course keep you in mind of all of this. Don’t put yourself out financially. If you can’t take more responsibility, you probably don’t need a puppy. Be logical but also find your spontaneity. Live life exactly like you want to live. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and inspire you.
Being single provides the freedom to embrace spontaneity and pursue opportunities as they arise. You have the flexibility to make last-minute plans, travel on a whim, or embark on solo adventures without having to coordinate with a partner. This spontaneity can lead to exciting experiences, personal growth, and a sense of liberation from routine and predictability.
Embrace your Independence
Enjoy the freedom that comes with being single. Take advantage of the opportunity to make decisions solely based on your own desires. Make the most of this freedom and independence. You have the flexibility to pursue your own interests and passions without having to compromise or collaborate with a significant other.
My favorite parts of being single is that I don’t have to share my closet space. The bed is all mine. I don’t have to ask permission or coordinate with anyone. I can basically do what I want, when I want and I love that.
Focus on You
I get it’s hard not to compare your life to others who may be in relationships, just know that is not healthy. You are living for you, not anyone else. Remember that everyone’s journey is different, and being single is just one chapter of your life story. Without the distractions and obligations of a romantic relationship, you can focus on yourself and self-improvement. You have the freedom to explore your own identity, values, and goals without the influence of a partner.This period of self-discovery can lead to greater self-awareness and emotional maturity, to help build future relationships.
Keep a Positive Mindset
Always maintain a positive outlook on life. Focus on the things you are grateful for and the blessings in your life. Whatever situation you’re in, there is always a positive spin to it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, but if you’re not, that’s ok too. You haven’t found the right person yet. You haven’t found the person that is deserving of seeing you at both your best and your worst. You are deserving of so much and it’s important you find exactly what you’re deserving of.
You shouldn’t shut yourself up completely during this process. I’ve learned that when you get too comfortable with being alone, it gets that much harder to let someone in. If you’ve been treated poorly in the past, it’s hard to give trust to someone new that may want to be a part of your life. Work on making yourself the best version of you so that you are ready for whatever life throws at you next.